Written by: Kevin Berge
He shall however feel awkward lust. (Image Courtesy of: collider.com)
Quick Take: Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones takes a fascinating and exciting concept as it escalates political tension into a full scale war then shoves it into a hollow boring shell. With largely poor acting and wooden dialogue, this is a movie with very little redeeming merit in the Star Wars universe.
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***This is an in-depth review of Attack of the Clones that reads better for those who have seen the movie before. If you have not, it will spoil plot points throughout the movie. Only read ahead if you have no concern being spoiled on this film.***
From political shenanigans to the burgeoning of a polite war, Attack of the Clones is actually quite different from The Phantom Menace. While the first episode was defined by poorly conceived ideas, Attack of the Clones is a failure of execution, taking a grand concept worthy of the universe and bogging it down with mistakes.
Episode II may be the most impressive movie ever made, in that it is impressive just how boring it can make its subject matter. Somehow, Attack of the Clones cannot make a mysterious, multi-layered plot, setting up a full scale war between the Jedi and a massive army of droids, remotely interesting.
The blame can rest on so many of the movie's stories. Chief among them is a romance less believable than any of the actual fantastical elements. The love between Anakin and Padme may be one of the most important aspects of the entire prequels as it is the relationship that created the original saga's protagonists and in many ways created the Empire.
This is why it is so egregious that Hayden Christensen (Life as a House) and Natalie Portman (Leon: The Professional) have so little chemistry and are strapped with the kind of drivel that would make romance novella writers cringe. Anakin comes off a creepy kid, lusting after his childhood crush while Padme inexplicably reciprocates his feelings after calling him young, rash, and naive and hearing him whine every second.
Still, there was a chance for this movie if it could succeed elsewhere. Continuing Palpatine's plot to take over the galaxy, Attack of the Clones follows Obi-Wan Kenobi, Anakin Skywalker, and Padme Amidala as they try to end a rising conflict with the rising Separist faction, ultimately forced to find a new army to fight a new war.
It is the first full scale militaristic war in the Star Wars universe, promising a ton of lightsabers, blaster fire, and new awesome ship designs. Somehow though, this movie does the unthinkable: it gives us too much lightsaber action. Okay, perhaps it just gives us too much bad action, but there are so many unnecessary acrobatic lightsaber scenes in the movie.
For some reason, George Lucas does not seem capable of handling the war scenes he is attempting to create and mostly just tries to distract from them. The CGI meant to add more wild and crazy moments only kill the suspense as nothing looks as if it could possibly be real.
***This is an in-depth review of Attack of the Clones that reads better for those who have seen the movie before. If you have not, it will spoil plot points throughout the movie. Only read ahead if you have no concern being spoiled on this film.***
From political shenanigans to the burgeoning of a polite war, Attack of the Clones is actually quite different from The Phantom Menace. While the first episode was defined by poorly conceived ideas, Attack of the Clones is a failure of execution, taking a grand concept worthy of the universe and bogging it down with mistakes.
Episode II may be the most impressive movie ever made, in that it is impressive just how boring it can make its subject matter. Somehow, Attack of the Clones cannot make a mysterious, multi-layered plot, setting up a full scale war between the Jedi and a massive army of droids, remotely interesting.
The blame can rest on so many of the movie's stories. Chief among them is a romance less believable than any of the actual fantastical elements. The love between Anakin and Padme may be one of the most important aspects of the entire prequels as it is the relationship that created the original saga's protagonists and in many ways created the Empire.
This is why it is so egregious that Hayden Christensen (Life as a House) and Natalie Portman (Leon: The Professional) have so little chemistry and are strapped with the kind of drivel that would make romance novella writers cringe. Anakin comes off a creepy kid, lusting after his childhood crush while Padme inexplicably reciprocates his feelings after calling him young, rash, and naive and hearing him whine every second.
Still, there was a chance for this movie if it could succeed elsewhere. Continuing Palpatine's plot to take over the galaxy, Attack of the Clones follows Obi-Wan Kenobi, Anakin Skywalker, and Padme Amidala as they try to end a rising conflict with the rising Separist faction, ultimately forced to find a new army to fight a new war.
It is the first full scale militaristic war in the Star Wars universe, promising a ton of lightsabers, blaster fire, and new awesome ship designs. Somehow though, this movie does the unthinkable: it gives us too much lightsaber action. Okay, perhaps it just gives us too much bad action, but there are so many unnecessary acrobatic lightsaber scenes in the movie.
For some reason, George Lucas does not seem capable of handling the war scenes he is attempting to create and mostly just tries to distract from them. The CGI meant to add more wild and crazy moments only kill the suspense as nothing looks as if it could possibly be real.
I can't imagine what it would be like to look at this screenshot without knowledge of Attack of the Clones but being a Star Wars fan. It might be exciting. (Image Courtesy of: hollywoodreporter.com)
Honestly, there is not a truly engaging action scene in the film with much of it feeling more like a video game. The overlong chase scene at Coruscant typifies this most of all, but it is also clear in the entire climax at Genosis with the messy arena action scenes and the ridiculous Yoda and Count Dooku duel.
If there is one redeeming quality to the film, it is the dynamic between Obi-Wan and Anakin which yields strong Star Wars comedy. Ewan McGregor is excellent in the film throughout, making Lucas' dialogue actually sound good, and he occasionally brings some emotion out of Christensen. Of course they break up the pair 30 minutes in and don't bring them back together until the climax.
As an actual pure story, the movie is far better than The Phantom Menace. There is a clear threat with the Separatists led by Count Dooku though he is too sparse in the film and is a waste of Christopher Lee (Horror of Dracula). The movie builds to its explosive first chapter of the Clone Wars and has a finality that also promises more.
However, somehow none of it really is that interesting to watch. The movie is typified by the performance of Samuel L. Jackson (Pulp Fiction) as Jedi Master Mace Windu, a lifeless shell whose threatening demeanor is only described by others and is a complete misuse of Jackson as a performer.
At least the movie still has John Williams at the helm for the score whose "Across the Stars" does more to sell the romance of Anakin and Padme than a single second of their dialogue.
Ultimately Attack of the Clones wants to be a grand epic. It uses its action and set pieces as a masquerade under which Lucas as director and writer can create no substance. He hammers away at his one idea without delivering it, leaving fans with a lifeless mess that is proven to be so terrible by what followed.
Almost every single show, book, and video game that was focused on the Clone Wars that followed was one hundred times better than the entirety of this film, yet it cannot just be said this movie should have been more focused on the wars instead. Because there is a clear strong concept to this movie, it just needed a better director and writer at the helm who didn't actively waste his bevvy of talented actors.
If there is one redeeming quality to the film, it is the dynamic between Obi-Wan and Anakin which yields strong Star Wars comedy. Ewan McGregor is excellent in the film throughout, making Lucas' dialogue actually sound good, and he occasionally brings some emotion out of Christensen. Of course they break up the pair 30 minutes in and don't bring them back together until the climax.
As an actual pure story, the movie is far better than The Phantom Menace. There is a clear threat with the Separatists led by Count Dooku though he is too sparse in the film and is a waste of Christopher Lee (Horror of Dracula). The movie builds to its explosive first chapter of the Clone Wars and has a finality that also promises more.
However, somehow none of it really is that interesting to watch. The movie is typified by the performance of Samuel L. Jackson (Pulp Fiction) as Jedi Master Mace Windu, a lifeless shell whose threatening demeanor is only described by others and is a complete misuse of Jackson as a performer.
At least the movie still has John Williams at the helm for the score whose "Across the Stars" does more to sell the romance of Anakin and Padme than a single second of their dialogue.
Ultimately Attack of the Clones wants to be a grand epic. It uses its action and set pieces as a masquerade under which Lucas as director and writer can create no substance. He hammers away at his one idea without delivering it, leaving fans with a lifeless mess that is proven to be so terrible by what followed.
Almost every single show, book, and video game that was focused on the Clone Wars that followed was one hundred times better than the entirety of this film, yet it cannot just be said this movie should have been more focused on the wars instead. Because there is a clear strong concept to this movie, it just needed a better director and writer at the helm who didn't actively waste his bevvy of talented actors.